What’s the oddest thing that happens with a hypochondriac support group?
Members call in sick, but they all show up for the meeting. Submitted by Wendy Davis

My mother asked me to hand out invitations to my brother’s surprise party. That’s when I realized he was her favourite twin. Submitted by Terry Sangster

A couple of dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.
“My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. He tips the kid and then brings the newspaper to me, along with my morning coffee.”
“I know,” says the second dog owner.
“How do you know?”
“My dog told me.” Submitted by Sourabh Bhatia

I was driving when I first saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my picture had been taken for speeding, even though I knew I wasn’t. Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly. But again the camera flashed. Thinking this was pretty funny, I drove past even slower three more times, laughing as the camera snapped away each time I drove by at a snail’s pace. Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seatbelt. Submitted by Adam J. Smargon

When do cows go to sleep?
When it’s pasture bedtime. Submitted by Hoss Alfred

From Reader’s Digest